Wendys Grinch
by TheGirlWithTheSilverTongue
Summary: In the locker room, Bebe gives Wendy some advice on her personal hygiene, and how she should uphold her feminist values. Well, in Bebes own, twisted, freaky way. One shot, not femmslash, some cursing, mention of vaginas. Be warned.


_Wendys Grinch_

_CynicalBitch_

_Friday 3rd December 2010  
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-#-#-#-_  
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The girls changing rooms at South Park High were packed with girls getting changed, showering, and generally giggling and gossiping. The Gym period of the Juniors had just ended, and it was almost lunchtime.

The oestrogen rush was wild in every girl, excited at seeing their boyfriends, catching up with how Millie and Clyde had been acting toward each other during class after their very public break up, when cheer practice was on now that the Captain had recovered from flu, and checking the gossip sites on their phones for news on Brangelina.

Bebe Stevens giggled manically as she tossed her blonde curls over her shoulder, and pulled her white tank top off and began searching for her ruby red sweater. Her dark blue eyes twinkled like jewels, along with her best friend Wendys chocolate brown ones.

Wendy and Bebe were complete opposites in looks – Bebe was blonde, blue-eyed, voluptous, supermodel-like. Wendy was dark haired and dark eyed, with subtle, Audrey Hepburn features and a delicate frame. But, having been through their entire lives together, they could not be more in sync, despite the fact that they were as different as night and day.

"Y'know, Wendy," smiled Bebe. "I think it smells like sweat and moans in here. I think some people have been screwing in here."

Bebe nodded towards Lola, who had not been in Gym, but looked very ruffled and happiness as she chatted to Rebecca. Her boyfriend, Craig, had been seen coming out of this very locker room just before everyone else came in.

"Urgh!" Wendy exclaimed. "You're so gross!" She gave her best friend a firm shove.

"You're gross!" Bebe shoved her back."

This went on for a while – shoving each other playfully, each saying "You're gross!" or "No, you're gross!" occasionally "You're so gross!" and the very creative. "You're gross, Princess Gross of Grossland!"

They eventually ceased when the realised that people were leaving, and almost dressed.

"Oh, shit!" Bebe squealed. "We should hurry up!" And she pulled hr tank top on over her plus-size pink bra.

Wendy hadn't even started to get changing, and by the time Bebe had on her sweater and her hair out of the pony tail, Wendy was in only her panties and 'GO COWS!' Gym shirt.

Bebe was only watching her friends search on the empty bench for her jean skirt, when she noticed something poking out of Wendys juvenile, Hello Kitty underwear with the day of the week stamped across the butt (Thursday).

"Um, Wendy?"

"Yeah?" Wendy said, not looking up from her bag.

"Girl, when exactly was the last time you, y'know, shaved?"

Wendys eyebrows raised. "This morning in the shower. I always shave my legs, every morning."

"Not your legs, you Ditzy Daisy." Said Bebe with a very air-head sounding giggle. "I mean, you know, _down there_."

"Oh!" Wendy said, as the truth of Bebes words dawned on her. "I, well, I never shave down there."

Bebes plucked, pale eyebrows shot up as she fiddled with her necklace. Neither of the girls had put on their lower-body clothes yet, to busy with their conversation.

"Why not?"

Wendy rolled her eyes. "Well, because I tried it once, and then when it started to grow back and it hurt so much! I was walking around with a prickly wedgy all day!"

Wendy shuddered at the memory.

"Well, that happens to some girls, but why don't you just wax instead?"

Wendy looked as though she couldn't believe Bebe was asking her this. "Because getting it done in a salon would be too expensive, and I don't trust myself, or you, to do it correctly."

Bebe rolled her eyes. "Well, fine, it you want to be stuck with a furry monster that stinks, you go ahead. You'll never know how great I feel, though." Bebe grinned, gesturing to her own, panties, underneath which was nothing but smooth skin.

"Blech!" Wendy pretended to vomit into her backpack as she pulled on her thick, nude tights. "And, I'll have you know that my… downstairs does not stink. I do, well, wash it."

"Furry beavers always stink, Wends. Odours and discharge get lost in the forest."

"God! Why am I letting you talk about this to me?"

"And judging by the fact that before you put your tights on," Bebe continued as though there had been no interruption. "I could see many thick black curls poking out though your little girly panties, you have a Full 70s Bush."

"Bebe, please shut up. It's not like anyone is going to see it, not for a while."

"So?" said Bebe. "Did you learn nothing from Georgia O'keefe? You should take care of your minge, show her some affection."

Wendy just shook her head, and said in a very overly-dignified voice. "Bebe, do everyone a favour, and piss off."

Bebe snorted. "Seriously, though," she continued as she fastened the buckles on her boots and Wendy zipped up her jacket. "I get the feeling you're not showing her enough love, Wends."

"What kind of love would you recommend, Dr Vaginal Love?" Wendy sneered as they left the changing rooms for the cafeteria.

"You know, grooming, rubbing, shower heads-"

"Ew!"

"Treat her like your fellow living being, not just your tampon tunnel."

"That," Wendy said, breathing through her nostrils in a way that reminded many of a dragon. "is sick. I expect you want me to give my downstairs a name and buy her some little shoes? And perhaps a matching handbag."

Bebe shrugged, clearly enjoying herself more than she should. She loved tormenting Wendy. "You'd probably have to by them with a Barbie doll, or something, and twisted them into your Disco Afro."

"Ewwww."

"Damn right. As for the name, perhaps you should!"

"What?"

"Yeah!" giggled Bebe, with the air of someone having just come up with the idea of particle theory. "I mean, I don't know why I never thought to name mine! But I totally should! How could I not see that?"

"Because, Bebe," said Wendy. "Until now, you were- well, not _sane_, per say, but no one felt the need to put you in a home. Well, they might have, but they didn't seriously think about it."

Bebe wasn't listening. She was looking down at the button of her tight black jeans. "I think I'll call her… Petunia."

"_Petunia?"_ Wendy screamed. "Bebe, that's weird, it sounds like a posh flower."

"It _is_ a posh flower, dummy. That's why I chose it."

"Posh, flower… Ohhhhh, I get it. _Flower_." Wendy smiled appreciatively. "For you, Beebs, that's kind of clever."

Bebe rolled her eyes. "Why do you think I mentioned Georgia O'keefe earlier?"

Wendy looked a tiny bit startled. "The woman that painted all the lilies?"

"The woman," Bebe stressed. "Who painted bunch of flowers shaped suspiciously like vaginas."

"Ohhhh…"

"Honestly, Wendy, and you're the smart one!" Bebe rolled her sapphire eyes. "Now, we need a name for your love box."

"Oh, no!"

"Due to your untidiness and your neglect of her, (goodness knows how many green spots of algie you've got not) and your overall grouchy attitude, I think I will dub yours 'The Grinch'."

Wendy sighed as they joined the lunchline. "Dear God, I am sorry I ever wore Weekday panties and allowed Bebe a glimpse at my untidy… basement."

Bebe snorted. "Says the Grinch to Christmas."

* * *

_Authors note: This is unedited, Beta-ed, or read-through. I will change spelling mistakes later. It's past my betime, but I wanted to get this up quickly and shar eit with the world! I'm very tired, and quite slap-happy. Does it show?  
_

_Anyway, since, while fully clothed, mind you, during PE today at school, I hear d another girl saying to her friend she shoukld call her vagina ' The Grinch' trhis has been buzzing around in my head, and i had to publish it._

_Review! Spread yoru thoughts! They are like- I don't know, some kind of pill? I'm not sure, you decide._

_Bye!_


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